A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed a man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat.
This time the man’s smile turned into a grin, so she move again. The man seemed more amused. When she moved for the fourth time,
the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court. The judge asked the man, (about 20 years old), what he had to say for himself. The man replied,
“Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn’t help but notice her condition.
She sat under a sweets sign that said, THE DOUBLEMINT TWINS ARE COMING, and I grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, LOGAN’S LINIMENT WILL REDUCE THE SWELLING, I had to smile.
Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign than said, WILLIAMS BIG STICK DID THE TRICK, I could hardly contain myself.
But, your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said,
GOODYEAR RUBBER COULD HAVE PREVENTED THIS ACCIDENT, I just lost it.
The case was dismissed.
2- Sweet old women calls the hospital to get information about a patient and shocks the operator
A sweet old lady telephoned St. Joseph’s Hospital. She timidly asked, “Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?”
“I can,” the operator replied, “what’s the name and room number?”
The old lady in her weak voice said, “Norma Findlay, Room 302.”
“Let me place you on hold while I check with her nurse,” the operator said.
After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said, “Oh, I have good news, her nurse just told me that Norma is doing very well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back as normal and her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged on Tuesday.”
“Oh, thank you. That’s wonderful! I was so worried! God bless you!” The old lady exclaimed, relieved.
“You’re more than welcome. Is she your daughter?” the operator asked.
The grandmother said, “No, I’m Norma in Room 302. No one tells me sh–t.”