Being in a Codependent Relationship is where you find yourself making A LOT of sacrifices for your partner’s happiness; however
you are not getting much in return. Being Codependents become so preoccupied with others that they neglect their own personal needs
and desires; they believe by focusing on someone else, they feel that they can decrease their painful feelings and anxiety. Codependent
people have a hard time saying NO and they have no boundaries set for themselves. They also prefer giving to others as opposed to receiving.
They tend to attract people with lots of problems or a drama filled life. Codependency is actually a “trap” that prevents them from addressing
their personal issues. It is basically a bottomless void that they use to fill whole and loved as a person. It is important to remember that love is patient,
codependency is controlling. Love is selfless;
where codependency is controlling.
Characteristics of Codependency
1.) They feel responsible for other peoples feelings, thoughts, actions, choices, wants, needs, desires, well being, lack of well being and their
2.) They feel guilty, anxious and pity when other people have a problem.
3.) They feel compelled to help solve problems; giving unwanted advice, providing a rapid series of suggestions, and the desire to fix their feelings.
4.) They often have addiction issues, suffer from depression or mental illness and the codependency can also stem from trauma in their lives.
5.) They anticipate other people’s needs.
6.) They try very hard to please others, instead of themselves.
7.) They find themselves feeling depressed because they are constantly caring/ giving to others and nobody give to them.
8.) They are attracted to needy people; and find that needy people are attracted to them.
9.) They find themselves feeling empty, worthless and bored if they don’t have a crisis going on in their lives, a problem to solve, or someone to help.
They center everything on everyone else, except for themselves.
10) They are afraid to let people be who they really are and allow for things to happen naturally.
Statistics show that codependency is very much so a learned behavior within families and is passed down from one generation to the next.
It’s beneficial to learn what we can do to help break the cycle of codependency and learn to lead happy independent lives.
Codependency and Recovery
1.) Start setting healthy boundaries. We can learn to make changes in our life when we focus on what we want for ourselves and what we will not
allow from others. It is important that we be mindful when others overstep our boundaries, these people do not have a genuine interest in you
and should be quickly removed from your space.
2.) Learn to let go of what you can’t control. We can’t control everything in life, sometimes things happen that are out of our control; this is normal,
this is life. It’s all about how we respond or react to what is happening. We need to learn to deal with our issues or problems in a positive manner.
Staying positive is key!
3.) Learn to totally detach from any drama in your life. Don’t get caught up in it. Its tiring, it’s stressful and its unnecessary. Stay away from others that live
a drama filled life style. Make positive friendships and relationships.
4.) Learn to increase your self esteem and put your needs first. You matter and you need to believe in yourself. Do positive things that you enjoy.
Find a new hobby or a new healthy outlet when you can learn about yourself and grow from the inside out.
5.) Learn to say NO and mean it. Stop saying yes when deep down you want to say no. Focus on yourself and your growth. You do not need to be involved
in what others are doing, especially if it is not good for you. You need to set limits in your life and live by them. It is also okay to ask for help when you need it.
Focus all your energies on you; give to yourself to improve your life and stop trying to constantly please others. Learn to love yourself; its time
to make yourself happy!