Have you ever been in a public place and your heart breaks because parents are continually yelling at their kids instead of simply speaking to them?
I see this all too often and it totally leaves me heartbroken! Yelling is an expression of anger, as parents we are supposed to guide our children through
life in a positive caring and loving manner. Believe it or not, yelling at your child does have long term affects; studies have shown that yelling at
your child causes the same damage as hitting your child.
Main Effects on Children Continually Yelled At
1.) Children whom are continually yelled at have feelings of low self confidence levels as well as low self esteem. This is serious as the child can carry this into
adulthood and carries a scar with them forever.
2.) Typically children that are verbally yelled and shouted at generally start showings signs of aggression towards others as well as aggressive behavior
towards themselves. Younger children have been known to push, hit and even bite others as a form of acting out.
3.) Children also become timid and fearful, which as result leads to the child struggling with developing and maintaining friendships and dealing with conflicts
amongst their peers.
4.) Children have also displayed problems concentrating; this is true because children learning to tune out the yelling as a means of defense for them. So typically
this leads to learning problems as the child suffers with concentration in the school setting.
There are much better was we can learn to get our point across to our children in order to avoid the effects listed above. Following these steps will ensure your
child a confident and thriving life.
Ways to Reduce Yelling
1.) Learn to notice what your child is doing that is triggering you into yelling at them. We can’t avoid all situations, kids will be kids! For instance if your
younger child gets upset because it’s bedtime and they are throwing a fit because they don’t want to go to bed, learn to take 15 minutes to spend some quality
time with them by reading them a bedtime story. This will reinforce your love towards them and it is a good time to bond with your child, and your child
will enjoy it so much that they will start looking forward to bedtime!
2.) Learn to pay close attention to how often you are praising them as to the number of times you’re shouting at them. Children are gifts and they needs to
be treated as such! Offer praise as often as possible, tell them you’re proud of their accomplishments and offer help when they’re struggling.
They will feel comforted by your loving care.
3.) There are times when shouting is appropriate, when your child is running across a street, or dangers in the kitchen and the child is about to touch a hot stove
and the like. These are times when we should raise our voice; we are doing it more sternly as opposed to being aggravated by certain behaviors. There is a
difference – pay close attention to your voice, your tone as well as your words.
4.) If we do revert to shouting, you need to immediately learn to catch yourself and at the same time explain to your child as to why their behavior was
upsetting you and you also need to show remorse and tell them that you are sorry; then replay the situation in your head and find better strategies to deal with
in the future.
5,) This last one is by far the most important! Please never ever call your child names – this is so damaging to their innocent minds! Again, it is important to
explain to them that their behavior is upsetting to you! Remember we are their teachers; everything we do, they see, they hear and they will repeat our actions.
Set a good example always.
Nobody said parenting was ever easy, but it is manageable and you have to remain in control at all times. Once you start disrespecting your own child,
they will learn to show the same disrespect as well. Let your child know that it’s ok to make mistakes, as this is how we learn! Tell your children often
how much you love them and show them with quality time together; always welcome them with open arms and affection. Always reinforce your love,
children are such precious gifts.