At times, we all struggle with some things our children do. There is no magic formula that works for all situations, but if we look deeper into their behavior, we will find often that their behavior is often a response to something they might be lacking. Any form of negative behavior should never be over looked and this is why it is important that we Learn to Understand our Child Behavior and respond appropriately.
1.) If your child is continually and intentionally interrupting you, most likely your child is lacking attention and they are striving for your affection.
2.) If your child is has developed low self esteem issues, more that likely it is because you advise your child rather than encourage them.
3.) If you child tends to get angry easily, possibly you have not praised them enough and they are acting out in order to get attention from you.
4.) If your child is showing signs of disrespect to others, most likely the reason is you’ve always order them and not show them the importance to their feelings.
5.) A child who continually is whining usually feels powerless and they don’t know how to cope.
6.) Children who come off bossy and controlling worry that they won’t get their needs met.
7.) If your child is continually disrespecting you could possibly be because they don’t feel connected with you.
8.) Children who do not listen often don’t feel their desires are acknowledged.
9.) Children who compete with their siblings are feeling less valued for who they are and not connect with their parents. As you can see, there are several behaviors that most children will display at some stage in their adolescence years, our job as parents is to help guide them in the most positive, loving and caring way. It is essential to our child that we notice these behaviors early on and do not ignore them. There are several things we can do to enforce positive outcomes of the undesired behavior.
Tips For Dealing With Behavioral Issues
1.) Typically as parents, we need to learn to act or respond. Instead of saying “Stop that crying right now!” we can react by saying “You look upset, do you need a hug?” This opens the door for communication and gives the child the chance to explain their feelings and you as the parent to enforce positive solutions.
2.) Many parents resort to using “time out” for their children and this is ok however if your child is acting out because you are failing to provide adequate affection and attention, then this is most defiantly wrong! If the child is throwing toys, we can respond by taking the toy away and simply saying that’s not acceptable. If we just take the toy away and sit them in time out without explaining, the time out useless.
3.) Many parents have been successful with a reward system. Children who learn that bad behavior will not be tolerated and good behavior will be rewarded are learning skills and will last a lifetime. This method works best for children ages 2 years of age and older. Please make not that rewards are not meant to cost money! Rewards are spending quality time with your child; examples would be reading a extra bedtime story, baking cookies with you, going to the park etc.
4.) Teach your child about quiet time. This is important as it can give you a break while cooking dinner, but beyond that it teaches independence; provide quiet time activities such as books, puzzles and the like. This also opens up their creativity.
5.) I strongly do not suggest spanking as a form of correcting a behavior. Spanking might stop the behavior for the immediate moment, but nothing is learned, it doesn’t teach your child to change their behavior, and it causes other emotional issues. Discipline is teaching your child desired behaviors and in my opinion, spanking can lead to aggressive behaviors in your child. Children need and want our love and affection, and they want to make us happy! Did you know that children need a minimum of 8 touches a day, and if they are going through a particularly tough time, it’s a minimum of 12 per day? Simple pats on the shoulder, morning hugs, and notes in lunch boxes all shows your love! We need to make these moments and help our children feel loved.