Moving forward with your kids, after dating a narcissist

You finally broke away from the manipulation, the aggressive behavior and the humiliation that you’ve dealt with for so long.

Now it is time to pick up the pieces and rebuild your life and live the life you deserve. Easier said than done, there will still be times

you must communicate, especially if you have a child in common. There are ways we can deal with such behaviors as we regain our life.

Moving forward with your kids after dating a narcissist – see my tips below.

1.) It is important to know that you are not required to respond and engage in every conversation that they start with you. Remember

that you must keep things simple as possible to avoid conflict. When they start making unnecessary remarks or comments to you, simple repeat

your question to them. If you respond and engage in conversation other than the question at hand, they got their way with you. Don’t allow this

to happen, don’t fall into their trap.

2.) As you know, you’re dealing with a master manipulator, they are going to send you messages in regards to the children, and they will hold

them over your head without doubt. When they message you, keep answers to yes/ no. Nothing more. This allows you to stay in control. All other

questions that do not pertain to the children are total nonsense and it is their means to find out information they can use against you. Keeps conversations

strictly about the children with simple to the point answers.

3.) You’ve waited your whole relationship for them to be kind, loving and caring towards you. They will use every opportunity they get to make

you think they still love and care for you. This again is another form of their manipulative ways to win you back. Don’t even listen to it, stay strong and

don’t fall back to the arms of abuse. This is best for you and your children.

4.) Sometimes, we actually might need help from them, so we can use what they do to us on them, and if you do this right, it’ll actually

work in your favor. Example would be you’re tied up at work and unable to pick your son up from school. So you could simple send message and say

“Timothy wants you to pick him up from school today because he misses you and enjoys spending time with you. I know you miss him too,

could you pick him up today?” As much as we hate to use this approach, sometimes we need to. Single parenting is hard, and sometimes

we need to ask for help.

5.) Boundaries are important, you must have them in place and you must live by them. What ever boundaries you have set for you and your

children should not be broken with your ex, because if you break them once, they will try to break them again. The most important thing is

about the children, and the stability in their lives. They need to feel safe, loved and protected at all times. They don’t deserve to see inappropriate

behavior from either parent. If things become really out of control and you don’t feel safe when exchanging the children between visits, set a public place

for pick up and drop off. Even if it is McDonald’s, this way you have others around you and most likely they won’t do anything stupid in the eyes

of others. Once they see you aren’t going to tolerate their crap, they will move onto their next victim.

6.) Signs of a Narcissist

Being involved in a relationship with a narcissist will become very draining, very quickly. It doesn’t matter if they are a friend, a family member,

your partner or someone your work with. Your best bet is to stay away altogether. Learning the signs of a narcissist will save you from a lot of pain and heartache.

They lack empathy, they generally exhibit a grandiose sense of themselves and they also have a strong need for admiration. There are generally

three types of narcissists; below I’ll explain each further.

1.) More so acting childlike, these types of narcissists are like exhibitionists. They are attention seekers and they want to be noticed and stand out.

They carry huge inflated egos. They think they are better than others, look better than others, can do anything better than others – they always feel they

are a step ahead of you. They aren’t lacking insecurity, but they do lack empathy. They have no remorse towards others and will be down right cruel.

They do not hesitate putting down others to make the look better. They are so high on themselves, they fail to notice the hurt and pain they’ve

inflicted onto others. Putting others down makes them feel glandular, and they will continually be cruel, rude and hurtful with no regard to others,

it doesn’t matter if you are a friend, lover or family.

2.) For many, some narcissists grew up in a home with their parents as narcissists. The battle is having two narcissists in the same room

together let alone under the same roof. This is where the closet narcissist comes into play. This type of narcissist is opposite of the first as they are totally

insecure. They aren’t high in mighty on themselves, but more so physical things or even people. They feel special by association with people

whether family, lovers, actors etc as well as physical items. When they feel special because they carry a designer bag or drive a high price nice car.

Again, they are seeking attention and they want to stand out in the crowd, they want eyes on them and do whatever it takes to become noticed

and gain attention. Another classic sign of the closet narcissist is they do what they want to do, without regard to others. They are known for saying one

thing and doing the extreme opposite. They are even known to place blame for their actions onto others. It is very difficult to maintain relationships!

3.) The last type of narcissists is the toxic one; they kick everything up a notch. They again seek attention and they seek to make everyone feel inferior.

They are heartless, they will hurt in ways you never ever could imagine. Fear is no obstacle to them and they actually thrive off of it! They even will

go the extra mile to set up a bad situation, just to watch another suffer. When dealing the toxic narcissist, you basically are dealing with an anti social

personality disorder. They seek destruction and are out to create it and inflict harm. They lead a life of chaos and drama because they actually enjoy this

behavior. Their goal is to hurt, to cause pain and they do not care or think about consequences because they simply thrive off causing and inflicting

pain onto others. In relationships with a toxic narcissist, you will literally be left worn out and broken, where the narcissist actually gain energy during the

process of destruction. The toxic narcissist will claim they hate drama in their lives; however they are always right in the middle of drama

everyday of their lives.

 

We all have choices; we now know the three types of narcissists. It is near impossible to maintain relationships with a narcissist. It is hard enough

when it is a family member, but your partner, you have the choice to escape the madness. Dating a narcissist is dangerous. When anger impedes whether

because of something you’ve said or done, they look past their relationship with you and all they see is the desire to cause harm to you. Be safe,

it’s better to end the relationship verses living with the madness!

 

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